As an idea I think is a good composition, but as production... well...
The intro is very long (I have same problem sometimes) and lack dynamics. 1:14 just an intro? that's 1/3 of a normal radio track.
Whole track has very harsh high frequencies but the most obvious is on the voice. The whole voice is fuzzy, harsh, abrasive and I can't really understand any of the lyrics. If you put a distortion on the voice, maybe you should put it in parallel with the voice, as a send effect...? or just on the reverb (voice ->send distortion/ filter/ reverb).